Monday, May 31, 2004

More Suspicions

Speaking of suspicions, there's another rumor going around the office, which was probably started by commie bastards. Yes, there's been talk of unionizing. Now, the management (Jr.) of Company X has worked hard to make sure that the peons don't band together and ask for luxuries such as "workers' rights" or "a constant supply of oxygen". If a union does bully its way in, it will have to use strongarm tactics. More on this as it develops.


OK, you’ve probably heard the rumors as well. Certainly I have, despite these rumors being mentioned only in hushed tones by the water cooler. (OK, we don’t actually have a water cooler…I use this phrase metaphorically.) I sorta thought it was the usual office bunk. But now I wonder. Is someone trying to jack up company revenues by operating a secret, illicit chinchilla ranch right here in the office? I have no hard evidence...yet. But there are some suspicious signs. First, there was that small pile of wood shavings in the supply room. Of course, that could have been left there by some workmen installing any number of office enhancements. Second, there has been that scruffling sound, ever so faint, in the office after hours. A sound so faint one can’t be sure it’s even a sound. Then there’s Pedro, the office cat. He’s been acting a bit odd lately. He likely knows what’s going on. But, of course, his first language isn’t English…so who knows what is agitating him? Maybe all of this doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. Maybe I’m imagining things. Who knows? But then, what is with that copy of Your Home Based Chinchilla Ranch: The Hobby that Pays BIG MONEY!!! that I found hidden in the office library right behind our copy of Marketing For Dummies? Now, I know what you’re thinking, we don’t actually have an office library. But we do have a bookshelf and I think it’s ok to call it a library. There’s no fancy classification system, like the Dewey Decimal system or nothin', but still it is where we keep our reference books. OK, maybe you don’t think Score: One Hundred and One Ways to Meet Hot Chicks is really a reference book, but it is non-fiction. I know this because it says so on the title page. Not that I’ve actually read the book. I have no need to read stuff like that; anyone can tell you that. The point is, well, why would someone add such a book to our library and then shelve it suspiciously near the marketing reference book? I’m clueless! Truly.

Friday, May 28, 2004

Tenant Expelled for Defacing Window

Well OJ is at it again. Today he used the dry erase marker on the window pane. (Go figure!) After erasing his remarks, we noticed that a residue was left behind. OJ claims that he has been able to remove the marks entirely, not withstanding the fact that he admits he can still see markings on the pane. Baja Bud's for lunch today. Yum.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Fridge Fotos

Here it is everybody: I present to you the new refridg-o-matic 2000.

You're Stupid

I cannot even begin to explain how frustrating this is.You're stupid.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

New Refridgerator

I was responsible for getting the new office fridge at the end of the workday today. It is really hip. I'll try to post a photo of it tomorrow afternoon. Lunch was at Jerry's Deli on Ventura. I had the chicken breast melt. So did Brett. UGH.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Bacon Cheeseburgers

Well, we did the official kick-off lunch at Kate Mantilini's this afternoon. I had the hamburger with muenster cheese and bacon, medium well, with french fries. Following my lead, Andy ordered the same. In a fit of rage, I eyed him with a killer's glare. Andy recoiled, preparing to change his order to something original, but it was too late. The waiter had left. You could cut the tension with a knife. Despite this, we managed to get through lunch unscathed and enjoyed another successful afternoon at the office. I decided to take the day off early to "get my eyes checked." Arrived home at a leisurely 4:15 p.m. and took in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals -- Calgary 4, Tampa Bay 1.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Suite 750

Well, first day on the job.

1. The phones are up an running.

2. Chinese for lunch (obligatory lunch post).

3. Mesothelioma meeting.

4. Staplers.

Ok, bye.

Sunday, May 23, 2004


Welcome to Suite 750.